So Osama walks into this bar, see?

I read this really funny posting on one of my favourite blog sites. Go read it yourself, it's worth your time, honestly!

http://www.gregpalast.com/so-osama-walks-into-this-bar-see

Pirated DVDs : Amazing.

Look at the quality of copied DVDs here, for 5RMB (0.30 pence, SGD$1), you get : a DVD outer made from thick, matt coated paper, a jewel box inlay, a postcard (?!?), a plastic disc protector, an outer sleeve with contact information on how to get more illegal dvds.....and the movie itself is super high quality, an exact copy of the original! None of that filmed by a camera in a cinema or poor quality copying, this is the real deal.

I am impressed.

Yes, Singaporeans speak English!

Finally! Some recognition that Singaporeans actually do speak English!

If the image is too small and you're too lazy to click on it, it says that a requirement for the program is that you must be from Australia, Canada, Europe, Ireland, UK, USA, New Zealand, or Singapore.

The Global Volunteer Network (http://www.volunteer.org.nz/) is on the look out for nice people (like me) who will offer their skills to the world. They support the work of local community organizations in countries through the placement of international volunteers. So if you want to be connected to communities in need, and have fun in the process. Drop in on their website.

My new camera!

Ok, too much heavy stuff. Back to reality. I know i promised to get a digital camera and here it is! I've decided to experiment it on a dinner out with my immediate colleagues. You must understand that I have about 12,000 people working where i am, so i will use the term "colleagues" very loosely.

Laughing at singapore's national day rally.

(I have since had an "update" of political views, please go to www.fivestarsandamoon.com for further reading)

"...hope that singaporeans overseas will come back one day..."? You really, really, must be joking mr. prime minister. I've said it many times, and i'll say it again: In the eyes of singaporeans, i'm a school dropout. I was not offered studying opportunities, career opportunities nor even respect in the military.

I belong to the demographic of people who will be spending their lives in low waged jobs.

But was this the case elsewhere in the world? England believed in me. Australia believed in me. China believes in me. And i will be more than happy to perform and contribute to their economies rather than singapore's.

i detest the culture (or lack of it), i detest the rudeness, i detest the fakeness, i detest this cosmetic makeover...wool that is pulled over the eyes of all. So now we're trying to attract foreign talent? Well, if not for the money (or the girls), they wouldn't even be here. I know a Japanese girl who couldn't tolerate our attitudes just 3 months of living here.

i would rather contribute 40% in taxes to a communist government and get no benefits in return. after all, you've had more than enough of your fair share in the fines i gave.

Singaporeans have a reputation (abroad) for being rude, nose in the air snobs who think that the little island is all the world there is.

i will most definately not want to return willingly and i know many, many, many others who feel the same way as me.

Contestants for Ms. Korea

Due to popular request, we have pictures of the hottest girls in Korea.... live from Jeju Island.

한국에서 가장 귀여운 여자애들

You are what you eat. So choose carefully.

Since i got here, i've only dared try two types of food that hit my "weird food" threshold. One of which is donkey flesh:



And the other is raw prawns. Which is innocent as compared to donkey meat.

Then there are the other truely vial creatures that I will never, ever consume, no matter how discourteous it seems. And they are:

Scorpions


More Scorpions


And this monster over here (who's going to be turned into herbal soup)


"Vould yu like zome garleek to go vith your tortis monsieur?"



Yes. To me, it's disgusting. To others, it's a priceless delicacy. And I have a feeling I have not seen the last of what the Chinese put on their plates.

And when my cat comes over here, i'm going to request for police protection around her 24 hours. I will booby trap my house and i'll make sure who ever wants to try to stir fry her will be turned into human Royal Canin himself.

I promise I'll get a digital camera soon. I got mine stolen at the Bangkok International Airport. Twats. Either that or some idiot at the Singapore Airport who's stealing it for some cheap thrills.

Now pardon me while i get back to breakfast (of kiwi fruits and soybean milk thank you)

damn funny : the men strike back

saw this bunch of jokes off some webpage. bloody hilarious!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. ****another askmen winner
------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ***sure askmen love this one ;-)
------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Exerpt from BBC : India struggles to keep up with China

I think this is a beautiful article. The writer had spent 18 years living in China.
A lot of people think that China is this backward society where people grunt to communicate, dress in rags and are widly illiterate (sic.). Yes, it may be lacking of a bit of culture, people are -a little- rude and hygine is a little...substandard.

But at least the people are humble.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it was in 2003, that the world suddenly woke up to China.

I am not sure what caused it to happen, what particular event or news story. I just remembered the phone in the BBC's Beijing Bureau started ringing and it has not stopped since.

Well now it is happening again and this time it is not China, it is India.

Every time you turn on the television or pick up a magazine, it is no longer the rise of China, it is now the rise of China and India.

The desire to make comparisons is understandable. Both have more than a billion people. Both are growing at 10% a year.



Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city


There are, I suspect, many who are hoping that India, with its freedom and democracy, will win this new race to become the next economic super power. I am not so sure.
I have spent the last eight years living in Beijing, and only four days in Delhi, so comparisons are difficult.

But the few days I recently spent in India made me look at China in a new light.


'Shocking experience'


Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city.
The streets groan under the weight of people. The air is filled with deafening noise and sumptuous smells.

Switch on the television and it is the same.

Between channels blasting out voluptuous Bollywood love stories and pop videos, an endless stream of news channels dissect the latest political scandals, and debauched lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Coming from China it is an almost shocking experience.

But after the initial delight at being in an open society, I started to notice other things.


Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment; locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting


The hotel was expensive and bad. In my room I searched for a high speed internet connection, a standard feature in any hotel in China. There was not one.
Then with the night-time temperature still well above 30C (86F) the power went out.

I lay for hours soaked in sweat trying, and failing, to get back to sleep and wishing I was back in Beijing where the lights never go out.

But getting back would not be easy.

Passenger queues

I looked at my plane ticket. Departure time 0315. Surely that could not be right.

I called the front desk. "That's correct sir," he said, "the airport is too small so many flights from Delhi leave in the middle of the night."

He was not joking.

My taxi struggled along the Jaipur road towards the airport.

The two-lane road was clogged by an endless convoy of lorries. Finally I arrived at Indira Gandhi International airport. Despite the hour it was teeming with people.

The queues snaked around the airport and back to where they had started.

Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment. Locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting.


I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work


"Is it always like this?" I asked a man in the queue ahead of me.
"Pretty much," he sighed.

I was finally shepherded aboard the flight to Shanghai.

Next to me sat a friendly looking Indian man in shorts and running shoes.

"Is this your first trip to China?" he asked me.

"No," I replied, "I live there."

"Really," he said, his interest piqued, "what should I expect?"

"I think," I said, "you should expect to be surprised."

Jaw dropping

Six hours later, our plane taxied to a halt in front of the soaring glass and steel of Shanghai's Pudong International Airport.



In Delhi I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own


As we emerged into the cool silence of the ultra-modern terminal, my new companion's jaw slid towards his belly button.
"I was not expecting this," he said, his eyes wide in wonder. "Oh no, I definitely was not expecting this".

I also found myself looking at China afresh.

Later that day as I drove home from Beijing airport along the smooth six-lane highway I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work.

And it was not just the airports and roads.

Driving through a village on the edge of Beijing I was struck by how well everyone was dressed.

In Delhi, I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own. Even deep in China's countryside that is not something you will see.

In Delhi I had been told of the wonders of India's new economy, of the tens of thousands of bright young graduates churning out the world's latest computer software.

I thought of China's new economy, of the tens of millions of rural migrants who slave away in factories, making everything from plimsolls to plasma televisions.

And of the same rural migrants, heading home to their villages at Chinese New Year festival loaded down with gifts, their pockets stuffed full of cash.

China is not a free society, and it has immense problems. But its successes should not be underestimated.

They are ones that India, even with its open and democratic society, is still far from matching.