Be in peace Tash.

Rest well. And as a mark of respect, i will not be posting anything for a while.

Romeo and Juliet : My version

But, soft! what accordion through yonder hacienda bequeaths?
It is the icon, and Juliet is the pregnancy.
outweigh, fair vacation, and summary the magnificent belfry,
Who is already perfume and ice with puppet,
That thou her tyro art far more scrawny than she:
Be not her earnings, since she is adorable;
Her robust flat is but overrated and rhythm
And none but yards do hear it; emit it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my writer!
O, that she knew she were!
She razes yet she ridicules nothing: what of that?
Her perdition discourses; I will blame it.

i REALLY have a massive headache!

...and i almost died of alcohol intoxication at that.

A couple of us decided that this shit beer and wine here isn't going to do anyone any harm. So we thought, sod this, let's down this bottle of weird alcohol - distilled from horses milk (yes, you read right). Half an hour later, everyone had a rough time dragging their sorry asses out my door.

I guarantee you, i never felt worse in my life. This hangover lasted me all the way till sunday morning.

My stomach still feels weak and my nostrils seem to have the intoxicating scent of the spirit lingering at the back of the nose, giving me that noxious, nauseating feeling...urgh.

NEVER am i going to do this again. If i had another drop more, I would've already been sharing the bed with the anti-christ.

Now let's get on to more cheery stuff. I can feel it in the air...... the cold temperatures are beginning to peek-a-boo every now and then. Last afternoon was a comfortable temperature. This morning at 9am it felt like 22 degrees everywhere! Yes, it'll get hot again later....but this can only mean one thing.... autumn is on her way! woo woo! and then after that.... winter!! my most favourite season!

But enough of that, let's get on to even more cheery stuff.....

I GOT MYSELF A MacBook !!

And i am very. very. very. impressed.

The minute i took it out of the box, the only words i could express were nothing but "WOW" and "it can do that?!?!". Truely, the Macintosh must have been designed by a team of tech-nerds and arty-farty types.

For starters, it is FAST. How long does it take for Windows to boot up? 30 seconds? 40? ...what about the Mac? From the time you press the power-on, till you hear the "BING" .... 2 seconds. I didn't even feel anything load! No sound from the hard disk!

The dispaly quality? Magic. 3D rendering is beautiful and re-draws in graphics sfotware is almost immediate!

Asthetically? Everything from the software to the hardware has been crafted with fine skill. Drop shadows, highlights, crisp fonts.... magnets to clip the power cord and display in place. The machine is crafted in pure, virgin white. This is THE sexiest computer i have ever owned!

You know when in windows (notice the drop in capitalization and loss of respect for the "w" in "windows") you change your settings, you would have to reboot the system or click the "apply/ok" button to realize your changes? Not for the Mac.

Even the technical manuals are written compasionately for humans, not some arcane techno-jargon.

You can even imagine my horror when the guy at the shop told me he'd sell me windows at a lower rate. idiots.

...now excuse me while i get back to my Mac.

Funny signs part 1

I can't help it! Some of these signs are just so funny! Really, some things are best left untranslated.....


(stress the civilization? i always knew the Chinese were up to something fishy.....)


(Any other form of graffiti, air-brush or road-kill is fine.)


(A hotline for tourist rescuing? What do they do to the tourists up there?)


(Translating is best left to the professionals.)


(Only in China, could such a sign be displayed in such grandiose)

i am psycho bunny

i am psycho bunny. i hopped into benjamin's room. i stomped him with powerful feet. i pulled his ears. i dragged his mangled body outside for my progney to play with. you no fool with bunnies! ever! let this be warning!

So Osama walks into this bar, see?

I read this really funny posting on one of my favourite blog sites. Go read it yourself, it's worth your time, honestly!

http://www.gregpalast.com/so-osama-walks-into-this-bar-see

Pirated DVDs : Amazing.

Look at the quality of copied DVDs here, for 5RMB (0.30 pence, SGD$1), you get : a DVD outer made from thick, matt coated paper, a jewel box inlay, a postcard (?!?), a plastic disc protector, an outer sleeve with contact information on how to get more illegal dvds.....and the movie itself is super high quality, an exact copy of the original! None of that filmed by a camera in a cinema or poor quality copying, this is the real deal.

I am impressed.

Yes, Singaporeans speak English!

Finally! Some recognition that Singaporeans actually do speak English!

If the image is too small and you're too lazy to click on it, it says that a requirement for the program is that you must be from Australia, Canada, Europe, Ireland, UK, USA, New Zealand, or Singapore.

The Global Volunteer Network (http://www.volunteer.org.nz/) is on the look out for nice people (like me) who will offer their skills to the world. They support the work of local community organizations in countries through the placement of international volunteers. So if you want to be connected to communities in need, and have fun in the process. Drop in on their website.

My new camera!

Ok, too much heavy stuff. Back to reality. I know i promised to get a digital camera and here it is! I've decided to experiment it on a dinner out with my immediate colleagues. You must understand that I have about 12,000 people working where i am, so i will use the term "colleagues" very loosely.

Laughing at singapore's national day rally.

(I have since had an "update" of political views, please go to www.fivestarsandamoon.com for further reading)

"...hope that singaporeans overseas will come back one day..."? You really, really, must be joking mr. prime minister. I've said it many times, and i'll say it again: In the eyes of singaporeans, i'm a school dropout. I was not offered studying opportunities, career opportunities nor even respect in the military.

I belong to the demographic of people who will be spending their lives in low waged jobs.

But was this the case elsewhere in the world? England believed in me. Australia believed in me. China believes in me. And i will be more than happy to perform and contribute to their economies rather than singapore's.

i detest the culture (or lack of it), i detest the rudeness, i detest the fakeness, i detest this cosmetic makeover...wool that is pulled over the eyes of all. So now we're trying to attract foreign talent? Well, if not for the money (or the girls), they wouldn't even be here. I know a Japanese girl who couldn't tolerate our attitudes just 3 months of living here.

i would rather contribute 40% in taxes to a communist government and get no benefits in return. after all, you've had more than enough of your fair share in the fines i gave.

Singaporeans have a reputation (abroad) for being rude, nose in the air snobs who think that the little island is all the world there is.

i will most definately not want to return willingly and i know many, many, many others who feel the same way as me.

Contestants for Ms. Korea

Due to popular request, we have pictures of the hottest girls in Korea.... live from Jeju Island.

한국에서 가장 귀여운 여자애들

You are what you eat. So choose carefully.

Since i got here, i've only dared try two types of food that hit my "weird food" threshold. One of which is donkey flesh:



And the other is raw prawns. Which is innocent as compared to donkey meat.

Then there are the other truely vial creatures that I will never, ever consume, no matter how discourteous it seems. And they are:

Scorpions


More Scorpions


And this monster over here (who's going to be turned into herbal soup)


"Vould yu like zome garleek to go vith your tortis monsieur?"



Yes. To me, it's disgusting. To others, it's a priceless delicacy. And I have a feeling I have not seen the last of what the Chinese put on their plates.

And when my cat comes over here, i'm going to request for police protection around her 24 hours. I will booby trap my house and i'll make sure who ever wants to try to stir fry her will be turned into human Royal Canin himself.

I promise I'll get a digital camera soon. I got mine stolen at the Bangkok International Airport. Twats. Either that or some idiot at the Singapore Airport who's stealing it for some cheap thrills.

Now pardon me while i get back to breakfast (of kiwi fruits and soybean milk thank you)

damn funny : the men strike back

saw this bunch of jokes off some webpage. bloody hilarious!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. ****another askmen winner
------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ***sure askmen love this one ;-)
------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Exerpt from BBC : India struggles to keep up with China

I think this is a beautiful article. The writer had spent 18 years living in China.
A lot of people think that China is this backward society where people grunt to communicate, dress in rags and are widly illiterate (sic.). Yes, it may be lacking of a bit of culture, people are -a little- rude and hygine is a little...substandard.

But at least the people are humble.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it was in 2003, that the world suddenly woke up to China.

I am not sure what caused it to happen, what particular event or news story. I just remembered the phone in the BBC's Beijing Bureau started ringing and it has not stopped since.

Well now it is happening again and this time it is not China, it is India.

Every time you turn on the television or pick up a magazine, it is no longer the rise of China, it is now the rise of China and India.

The desire to make comparisons is understandable. Both have more than a billion people. Both are growing at 10% a year.



Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city


There are, I suspect, many who are hoping that India, with its freedom and democracy, will win this new race to become the next economic super power. I am not so sure.
I have spent the last eight years living in Beijing, and only four days in Delhi, so comparisons are difficult.

But the few days I recently spent in India made me look at China in a new light.


'Shocking experience'


Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city.
The streets groan under the weight of people. The air is filled with deafening noise and sumptuous smells.

Switch on the television and it is the same.

Between channels blasting out voluptuous Bollywood love stories and pop videos, an endless stream of news channels dissect the latest political scandals, and debauched lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Coming from China it is an almost shocking experience.

But after the initial delight at being in an open society, I started to notice other things.


Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment; locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting


The hotel was expensive and bad. In my room I searched for a high speed internet connection, a standard feature in any hotel in China. There was not one.
Then with the night-time temperature still well above 30C (86F) the power went out.

I lay for hours soaked in sweat trying, and failing, to get back to sleep and wishing I was back in Beijing where the lights never go out.

But getting back would not be easy.

Passenger queues

I looked at my plane ticket. Departure time 0315. Surely that could not be right.

I called the front desk. "That's correct sir," he said, "the airport is too small so many flights from Delhi leave in the middle of the night."

He was not joking.

My taxi struggled along the Jaipur road towards the airport.

The two-lane road was clogged by an endless convoy of lorries. Finally I arrived at Indira Gandhi International airport. Despite the hour it was teeming with people.

The queues snaked around the airport and back to where they had started.

Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment. Locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting.


I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work


"Is it always like this?" I asked a man in the queue ahead of me.
"Pretty much," he sighed.

I was finally shepherded aboard the flight to Shanghai.

Next to me sat a friendly looking Indian man in shorts and running shoes.

"Is this your first trip to China?" he asked me.

"No," I replied, "I live there."

"Really," he said, his interest piqued, "what should I expect?"

"I think," I said, "you should expect to be surprised."

Jaw dropping

Six hours later, our plane taxied to a halt in front of the soaring glass and steel of Shanghai's Pudong International Airport.



In Delhi I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own


As we emerged into the cool silence of the ultra-modern terminal, my new companion's jaw slid towards his belly button.
"I was not expecting this," he said, his eyes wide in wonder. "Oh no, I definitely was not expecting this".

I also found myself looking at China afresh.

Later that day as I drove home from Beijing airport along the smooth six-lane highway I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work.

And it was not just the airports and roads.

Driving through a village on the edge of Beijing I was struck by how well everyone was dressed.

In Delhi, I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own. Even deep in China's countryside that is not something you will see.

In Delhi I had been told of the wonders of India's new economy, of the tens of thousands of bright young graduates churning out the world's latest computer software.

I thought of China's new economy, of the tens of millions of rural migrants who slave away in factories, making everything from plimsolls to plasma televisions.

And of the same rural migrants, heading home to their villages at Chinese New Year festival loaded down with gifts, their pockets stuffed full of cash.

China is not a free society, and it has immense problems. But its successes should not be underestimated.

They are ones that India, even with its open and democratic society, is still far from matching.

no dough.

Fucked...i am so fucked....

I thought I could use my cards here in China, but it seems that ATM after ATM would not accept my plastic! And there are no money changers in town, so getting my cash converted is not an option!

I've tried it all, cards from Australia, U.K, Singapore, Hong Kong....they all don't work!! This "Plus" network thing is bullshit...

I've got yank dollars, hong kong dollars, thai bhat, singapore dollars, pounds, aussie dollars, euros.....but it's pointless! no one will accept it and there's no money changer around!

turns out i have to borrow cash from my boss...how embarassing, i'll just have to wait 5 more days till pay day :(

Must to be learning Chinese....

This is bad.

I've just realized how seriously they take the Chinese language here in China. (well. duh. yesh.) At a board meeting earlier, my boss was terribly upset (ie. he threw a fit) that I introduced myself in English. Three quarters of the room didn't understand what I was talking about! I am now officially put on a intensive course in spoken and written traditional/simplified Chinese.

My computer has it's English version of Microsoft Office uninstalled and replaced with a traditional chinese one. Tragic.

Anyway, my boss will be buying me lunch later, as well as show me where the -only- -english- bookstore is in this area. Mmmm.....after a week of Chinese food, i'm really looking forward to some foreign cusine!

Now here are some facts you must know if you wanna go to China :

- Bring local currency. Cash. Lots of it. Most of whatever you buy is going to accept local currency only. And forget about looking for a money-changer.

- Beware of the change that you get. Fake money is floating everywhere.

- Although they drive on the left side of the road, look in EVERY direction before you cross the road. "Traffic Rules" are non-existant here. Just try to stay alive.

- Rates of literacy here is higher than in Singapore. They read, they write and they've got more ways to say "fuck off" than you can think of. So please respect.

- People don't walk around with guns in their pockets. So there's no need to wear bullet proof vests around. However, people are poor, desperate and cunning, so it's best to keep your wits about you.

- Bring anti-bacterial spray, wash and vitamins. The standard of hygine is very questionable.

Now in : China

...and i'm off again!

It's these damn itchy feet, i just can't stay put in one place! This time, i've packed my bags and jetted off to Guangzhou in China. How long will i stay? I haven't a clue. But with food at as little as 30 pence (one singapore dollar) and tons of lovely lady's throwing themselves at you...hmmm.... it might be a while....

But on a more serious note, these two days here is a very humbling experience. To the people here, i'm on a ridiculously high pay package (to my mates back home and everywhere else, my pay is pathetic). These boys and girls come from all over China to live in in dormitories that are shared by 10 other people. They share common toilet facilities and have absolutely no access to things like washing machines, heaters, dryers and television. In the morning they queue up to use the toilets to brush their teeth, in the evening they queue up to bathe and wash their clothes by hand.

Life is regimental and discipline is harsh. They indeed are a capitalists' dream work force. A people bred just to fit parts on an electronic device.

Their entertainment revolves around an outdoor public screening of some obscure chinese movie, basketball and badminton.

They live on a salary of 50 pounds (SGD150) a month. And they have no other alternative to better their lives cause they're too busy performing overtime.

And this is the picture of one of the better parts of China. I havent' the chance to see a real sweat shop yet, but i would love to. At least at our place the practice of hygine is strictly observed (but still, everything around me seems to reek of some weird smell).

So the next time you power on your computer, plug in your iPod, sit on your Ikea sofa or use anything that's marked "Made in China", give a moment and spare a thought for these people who toil, slog, sweat and work round the clock to make it all possible for you.

People who, not by choice are born into this existence, do not have the resources to improve their lives and may never, ever get to use these products they make.

there and back again.

What a difference a week makes....

It's been a wild week. I mean, proper wild.

In one week, fates were sealed, decisions were made, commitments were assured and a complete change of mind and will power was put into motion.

I wish i could tell you guys what happened in the last week, but for both the privacy of others and my professional security, i cannot and will not.

It does involve a lot of packing of bags and the development of a taste for Sino-Asian food in the near future.

Really, people do strange things when they're angry....all reason is lost, you make bad decisions, you hurt the people around you and the people around them. And sometimes, i think that people enjoy being angry...for some reason, there's this mean sadistic streak in us that simply must be let loose in order to tickle some pleasure hormones.

...and one last word of advice: Hotel 1929 at Chinatown is a rip-off. Don't waste your time (and money). I've seen storerooms with more space.

Don't be a lemming.

(I have since had an "update" of political views, please go to www.fivestarsandamoon.com for further reading)

The time has come to elect again.

I'll give you a little hint on my vote...it rhymes with Verkers Barty.

They've done a good job with Hougang and i'm sure they'll do a good job with another
constituency.

Even if they don't win it, i've at least done my part in giving hope to future contestants.

Yes, our current government has done a nifty job of running an island. Yes, things are going dandy. But if we continue to think this way, we might as we well be using fax machines instead of emails, Nokia 3210s instead of PDA phones, Windows 3.11 instead of Windows XP. "If it's not broken, don't fix it" is a tagline for the dying past.

I'm sick of several things:

- Media domination
- Restriction of expression
- Non-transparency of national budgets
- Living in an artificial city where everyone does as they're told
- The banning of cats in HDB estates.

Living in Singapore is like living with your parents. How do you have fun and express yourself when your grand-daddy is always breathing down your neck?

How do you live a real life instead of being a machine bred to grow a nation's economy?

I shouldn't be commenting too much. Just my two cents worth.

But if you don't like it. Stop voting for it. And if you do, don't complain about it.

Just don't be a lemming.

some explanation for my European buddies (and African too bleah)

Yes, yes mates.... i know, i know....i said i was coming back, then i was not coming back...and then i'm coming back...and then i'm not coming back..... all right, all right, now before you guys start aiming beer bottles at singapore let me explain a bit yeah?

Actually....heheheh, i don't think i'm going to explain it even.

*dodges first beer bottle*

...but i am coming back all right? just not now!!

*dodges next beer bottle*

Yup, i'm slowly building up finances again so that i may vist you guys... those of you who know me would know what i'm doing.... i'm 50% there... so pray the market co-operates with me :)

*dodges a whole bunch of flying beer bottles...filled with beer*

Ha.... cheers!