ZA!

I will be heading to this place for the Chinese New Year...woooo ZA!!

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

WTF?! Hello Kitty airlines by EVA AIR ?!? what on earth are the PR people thinking?! I've had some really bizzare marketing ideas, but i take my hats off this one!

The Cat Files

Nostalgic Cat















Heat scan cat















Pop Culture cat














Gaussian cat















Pencil brush cat

Cat sketch

今天

..................................................reality....
.......................................of .....................
.....................dream ..................................
...............i .............................................
today.....................................................

之想

就在这个世界上来来回回。

去到哪里，爱到哪里。这么样，我每天都是一个新的人。

Corn Flavoured Sausage

Sweet.

...And then i went to Seoul

Strange that some of you may wonder "why are you going to korea"? Geez, can't a man take a trip without any agenda? Im here only to take a break from bad traffic, bad food, bad manners, pollution, poor hygine and to give my ears a break from Pu Tong Hua (mandarin). And to see if the place is nice enough to move to for my next destination. (Which is not something that will happen soon, so if you're my boss and you're reading....relax!)

Korea has some of the most polite and socially aware people i've met. They're really big on recycling too! At home, you don't just chuck your garbage in a bin or a bag anyway you want to. You need to purchase the town-council's approved garbage bags. This way, people think twice about throwing their stuff away. Paper cups in fast food restaurants are non-existent, they come in washable plastic cups! And while we're at the topic of restaurants, please remember to chuck away your junk on your own, cause everyone does so. And don't rush on the trains when they come, everyone moves away from the door to let others get off first. This is great! If everyone behaves, everyday would be so much nicer!

Anyway, here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure (I've taken some 246 pictures inclusive my stopover in Hong Kong....so this is just a little sample) :

My Lunch

I've been offered this for lunch. I've been told that this is the greatest thing in Taiwan ever. Can't wait for lunch! mmmmm.....

Wisecracks

Over-read from someone's MSN header:

"angels fly high because they take themselves lightly".

cute.

I'm Seoul excited!

(I have since had new political views, please refer to www.fivestarsandamoon.com for updates)

But first, at the risk of sounding too anti-singapore, please take a look at this website : http://derekwee.blogspot.com/ especially if you're overseas, are over 40 or are just clueless about what's happening in the country in general.

I've been so busy, i hardly have time to write! In fact, i'm just squeezing in the last few minutes of my lunch hour to feed in whatever bit of information i can.

Here's a briefy of what's happend during the past few days:

- Went to a local amusement park
- Ate VERY local food
- Booked a flight to Seoul
- Got my hair cut
- Cooked lunch for my neighbour's kids
- Went out with my colleagues

Gotta get back to work. ----outz*

We banned Far Eastern Economic Review? Disgusting.

Another publication banned from Singapore. What are we? A nation of idiots? A bunch of f*ck-wits? Can't we decide what's wholesome and what's not? Are we unable to separate fact from bullshit? Or is there more bullshit that we should be worried about?

Not even my mom and dad have a right to tell me what i can or cannot do. I am free and it is my right to be free. I can decide. I don't need a bunch of dysfunctional old men, devoid of any sex life whatsoever, sitting in a corner of parliament... free to do whatever the fuck they want, free to spend however they like, free to wank to all manner of porn in the privacy of their mansions. I don't need them to legislate my life, to tell me that oral sex is illegal. To tell me what religion i can practice. To tell me not to chew gum? To tell me what i can or cannot write in my blog (of which people are free to decide if i'm writing bullshit or not).

It is embarrassing. I'm sick of foreigners thinking that i come from a nation of babies.

The PAP is up there along with Microsoft, McDonalds, Coca Cola and a watered-down version of the Chinese Communist Party. And like most dictators and monopolies, they leave you no choice but to keep buying from them and they decide what you need. Only the very brainless, soulless, weak of heart and abject lazy will take to such a system.


So it has happened: the Singapore Government banned the Hong Kong-based monthly periodical The Far Eastern Economic Review. Not only are counter sales prohibited, but anyone found with a subscriber copy faces arrest.

The paper was required to post a $S200,000 bond however The Review failed to do so, reasoning that no other country makes such a demand. The Government probably requires such a bond because it suspects that foreign courts will not enforce the defamation judgements of Singapore courts that are made in favour of Singapore's politicians.

Lee Kuan Yew likes to think that Singapore is modern; a member of the First World. He is wrong.

I HEART HONG KONG!

I have been isolated from the rest of society for too long. For those of you who think
that capitalism is such bad thing, may i invite you to spend 6 months in the futher reaches of the Pearl River in Canton.

When i was asked to sit in for the IPO meeting in Hong Kong, my eyes glowed with the
same excited, fanatical evil that a child rapist has upon being invited to a Macdonald's kiddie party. I NEEDED HONG KONG. I MUST HAVE HONG KONG!

3 hours and one rocky train ride later, I found myself soaking up a capitalist's heaven in Wan Chai. Ooooh, the cold air-conditioning, THE SMELL OF REAL PERFUME IN THE AIR, REAL WORLD FOOD, oooooh, the books! A REAL BOOKSTORE WITH *gasp* ENGLISH BOOKS!

And the brands!! The L'occitaines, the Bang and Olufsen, the Guess, the Zara, the Calvin Kleins, the The Body Shops. GIRLS WHO DRESS DECENTLY (which is to say, indecently to some of you, but i'm not much of a moralist). Just 5 minutes in Wan Chai and my head is spinning from a high that so far only skunk can deliver.

Throwing economic caution to the wind, i fished out the dollars and shopped like a woman. Believe me. After months of looking at shit consumer goods at Guangzhou's Tian He district, i feel literally, like the proverbial kid in a candy shop.

My soul was healed merely by the look and touch of designer furniture. My olfactory receptors have come back to life again with the subtle hint of sexy perfume and teased by savoury smells of a skillful baker at the cafe.

I look forward to heading back to China again with as much gleeful anticipation as eating a bowl of cockroaches. Laced with snake bile.

But now i'm back in the harsh reality of Canton with nothing but pictures of dear old Hong Kong. I must, must get out of this country again, i promised myself a trip to either Tokyo or Seoul and I must go again. Working in a place like this, it is so important to leave for a REAL CITY at least once a month or risk going berserk.

AND FOR THE LAST TIME, HONG KONG IS NOT LIKE SINGAPORE! So things are expensive there, boo-fucking-hoo, so they have the same shopping stuff as us. Then stay home and not leave changi airport ever! hong kong has culture, identity and a history that is as rich as china's. they even have a national language! they have enough guts to express themselves and geez, what will our oriental lives be without TVB? Does singapore have any of these? nOooOoOooo.......so stop saying "it's like singapore" cause i'm sure the hongkies would be very insulted. (and if not for the disturbing fact that they're technically run by Beijing, i would be very happy to move there)

Here are some pictures of Hong Kong. But don't just look at them. Go to Hong Kong. Go now. Pick up your phone book your favourite air line and just go.
















Cats on parade!




















Kitty bride of frankenstine.


A display of weird cat dolls.


At a junction of Kowloon Tong (i think)


Underwater tunnel.




What will the East be without the strange choice of words?

Voodoo doll chinese-fied.

Give a Chinese girl a Voodoo doll and look at what she does to it.

Turned a perfectly evil looking voodoo doll into a cutesy pig tailed thing.

thought of the day

wHatever YOU can do,

or THINK you can DO,

BEGIN it.

She was a cat.

Now she's taking it easy amongst clouds in kitty heaven.

To be very honest, it is a little sad that she had to go this way.... however, i won't bother with all the if's, but's and could have's, i will not blame anyone, not even the driver who hit her. Netiher will i blame myself nor my friend who helped me look after her. Death is a process of life and while she may only be a cat, i value her as much as the people who have gone before me.

This episode reminds me of something we all know all this while: That life is short. That life is unpredictable. While you may not be killed in an accident, you can be removed from existence just as easily by some disease. Would you have looked back on your life and think "yes, i've done things i've want to do" or "shit, i've made all this money, now what?" Sure....money can get you the best doctors and medical attention, but what if you've caught something like... HIV? Then what? It may buy you a bit more time, but that time is spent in misery.
Money has always, and will still take back-seat in my life, unless it's in line with what i want to do in life. Sure, i'd love to have lots of it, but i also will not allow it to cloud my thinking or my principals or let it stop me from doing what makes me happy.

I know some of you may think i'm over reacting, Tash may be just bloody road-kill, or that a cat's life has zero economical/productive value as compared to a human life. For those of you who think this way, I would like to offer you a middle finger and a simple "FUCK YOU", in it's full glory. The cat does show emotions. She is capable of expressing feelings like fear, regret and love. She can show me more love than most of my ex girlfriends can.
I'm not practicing double standards. I know i am a carnivore. But my principal is that i will not eat any animal that i have had a personal interaction with.

So Tash, i know you may not read very well, even more so now. But i hope you've had a good time with me....and your short term friend B.B..... i know you probably didn't understand Korean, and you ate her body lotion....and watermelon seeds....i know that some of my friends are frightened of you... i know you chewed up two of my very expensive earphones, destroyed an expensive tie, destroyed my bed and kicked cat litter all over my room....but it's all cool.

Perhaps someone up there decided that blood must be shed for certain things i've done. Perhaps you've taken the place of some ill fate that I would otherwise have suffered.

But goodbye for now, and mew hello to the two other people i know. Cause like you, they left me with hardly a goodbye.

Be in peace Tash.

Rest well. And as a mark of respect, i will not be posting anything for a while.

Romeo and Juliet : My version

But, soft! what accordion through yonder hacienda bequeaths?
It is the icon, and Juliet is the pregnancy.
outweigh, fair vacation, and summary the magnificent belfry,
Who is already perfume and ice with puppet,
That thou her tyro art far more scrawny than she:
Be not her earnings, since she is adorable;
Her robust flat is but overrated and rhythm
And none but yards do hear it; emit it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my writer!
O, that she knew she were!
She razes yet she ridicules nothing: what of that?
Her perdition discourses; I will blame it.

i REALLY have a massive headache!

...and i almost died of alcohol intoxication at that.

A couple of us decided that this shit beer and wine here isn't going to do anyone any harm. So we thought, sod this, let's down this bottle of weird alcohol - distilled from horses milk (yes, you read right). Half an hour later, everyone had a rough time dragging their sorry asses out my door.

I guarantee you, i never felt worse in my life. This hangover lasted me all the way till sunday morning.

My stomach still feels weak and my nostrils seem to have the intoxicating scent of the spirit lingering at the back of the nose, giving me that noxious, nauseating feeling...urgh.

NEVER am i going to do this again. If i had another drop more, I would've already been sharing the bed with the anti-christ.

Now let's get on to more cheery stuff. I can feel it in the air...... the cold temperatures are beginning to peek-a-boo every now and then. Last afternoon was a comfortable temperature. This morning at 9am it felt like 22 degrees everywhere! Yes, it'll get hot again later....but this can only mean one thing.... autumn is on her way! woo woo! and then after that.... winter!! my most favourite season!

But enough of that, let's get on to even more cheery stuff.....

I GOT MYSELF A MacBook !!

And i am very. very. very. impressed.

The minute i took it out of the box, the only words i could express were nothing but "WOW" and "it can do that?!?!". Truely, the Macintosh must have been designed by a team of tech-nerds and arty-farty types.

For starters, it is FAST. How long does it take for Windows to boot up? 30 seconds? 40? ...what about the Mac? From the time you press the power-on, till you hear the "BING" .... 2 seconds. I didn't even feel anything load! No sound from the hard disk!

The dispaly quality? Magic. 3D rendering is beautiful and re-draws in graphics sfotware is almost immediate!

Asthetically? Everything from the software to the hardware has been crafted with fine skill. Drop shadows, highlights, crisp fonts.... magnets to clip the power cord and display in place. The machine is crafted in pure, virgin white. This is THE sexiest computer i have ever owned!

You know when in windows (notice the drop in capitalization and loss of respect for the "w" in "windows") you change your settings, you would have to reboot the system or click the "apply/ok" button to realize your changes? Not for the Mac.

Even the technical manuals are written compasionately for humans, not some arcane techno-jargon.

You can even imagine my horror when the guy at the shop told me he'd sell me windows at a lower rate. idiots.

...now excuse me while i get back to my Mac.

Funny signs part 1

I can't help it! Some of these signs are just so funny! Really, some things are best left untranslated.....


(stress the civilization? i always knew the Chinese were up to something fishy.....)


(Any other form of graffiti, air-brush or road-kill is fine.)


(A hotline for tourist rescuing? What do they do to the tourists up there?)


(Translating is best left to the professionals.)


(Only in China, could such a sign be displayed in such grandiose)

i am psycho bunny

i am psycho bunny. i hopped into benjamin's room. i stomped him with powerful feet. i pulled his ears. i dragged his mangled body outside for my progney to play with. you no fool with bunnies! ever! let this be warning!

So Osama walks into this bar, see?

I read this really funny posting on one of my favourite blog sites. Go read it yourself, it's worth your time, honestly!

http://www.gregpalast.com/so-osama-walks-into-this-bar-see

Pirated DVDs : Amazing.

Look at the quality of copied DVDs here, for 5RMB (0.30 pence, SGD$1), you get : a DVD outer made from thick, matt coated paper, a jewel box inlay, a postcard (?!?), a plastic disc protector, an outer sleeve with contact information on how to get more illegal dvds.....and the movie itself is super high quality, an exact copy of the original! None of that filmed by a camera in a cinema or poor quality copying, this is the real deal.

I am impressed.

Yes, Singaporeans speak English!

Finally! Some recognition that Singaporeans actually do speak English!

If the image is too small and you're too lazy to click on it, it says that a requirement for the program is that you must be from Australia, Canada, Europe, Ireland, UK, USA, New Zealand, or Singapore.

The Global Volunteer Network (http://www.volunteer.org.nz/) is on the look out for nice people (like me) who will offer their skills to the world. They support the work of local community organizations in countries through the placement of international volunteers. So if you want to be connected to communities in need, and have fun in the process. Drop in on their website.

My new camera!

Ok, too much heavy stuff. Back to reality. I know i promised to get a digital camera and here it is! I've decided to experiment it on a dinner out with my immediate colleagues. You must understand that I have about 12,000 people working where i am, so i will use the term "colleagues" very loosely.

Laughing at singapore's national day rally.

(I have since had an "update" of political views, please go to www.fivestarsandamoon.com for further reading)

"...hope that singaporeans overseas will come back one day..."? You really, really, must be joking mr. prime minister. I've said it many times, and i'll say it again: In the eyes of singaporeans, i'm a school dropout. I was not offered studying opportunities, career opportunities nor even respect in the military.

I belong to the demographic of people who will be spending their lives in low waged jobs.

But was this the case elsewhere in the world? England believed in me. Australia believed in me. China believes in me. And i will be more than happy to perform and contribute to their economies rather than singapore's.

i detest the culture (or lack of it), i detest the rudeness, i detest the fakeness, i detest this cosmetic makeover...wool that is pulled over the eyes of all. So now we're trying to attract foreign talent? Well, if not for the money (or the girls), they wouldn't even be here. I know a Japanese girl who couldn't tolerate our attitudes just 3 months of living here.

i would rather contribute 40% in taxes to a communist government and get no benefits in return. after all, you've had more than enough of your fair share in the fines i gave.

Singaporeans have a reputation (abroad) for being rude, nose in the air snobs who think that the little island is all the world there is.

i will most definately not want to return willingly and i know many, many, many others who feel the same way as me.

Contestants for Ms. Korea

Due to popular request, we have pictures of the hottest girls in Korea.... live from Jeju Island.

한국에서 가장 귀여운 여자애들

You are what you eat. So choose carefully.

Since i got here, i've only dared try two types of food that hit my "weird food" threshold. One of which is donkey flesh:



And the other is raw prawns. Which is innocent as compared to donkey meat.

Then there are the other truely vial creatures that I will never, ever consume, no matter how discourteous it seems. And they are:

Scorpions


More Scorpions


And this monster over here (who's going to be turned into herbal soup)


"Vould yu like zome garleek to go vith your tortis monsieur?"



Yes. To me, it's disgusting. To others, it's a priceless delicacy. And I have a feeling I have not seen the last of what the Chinese put on their plates.

And when my cat comes over here, i'm going to request for police protection around her 24 hours. I will booby trap my house and i'll make sure who ever wants to try to stir fry her will be turned into human Royal Canin himself.

I promise I'll get a digital camera soon. I got mine stolen at the Bangkok International Airport. Twats. Either that or some idiot at the Singapore Airport who's stealing it for some cheap thrills.

Now pardon me while i get back to breakfast (of kiwi fruits and soybean milk thank you)

damn funny : the men strike back

saw this bunch of jokes off some webpage. bloody hilarious!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. ****another askmen winner
------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ***sure askmen love this one ;-)
------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Exerpt from BBC : India struggles to keep up with China

I think this is a beautiful article. The writer had spent 18 years living in China.
A lot of people think that China is this backward society where people grunt to communicate, dress in rags and are widly illiterate (sic.). Yes, it may be lacking of a bit of culture, people are -a little- rude and hygine is a little...substandard.

But at least the people are humble.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it was in 2003, that the world suddenly woke up to China.

I am not sure what caused it to happen, what particular event or news story. I just remembered the phone in the BBC's Beijing Bureau started ringing and it has not stopped since.

Well now it is happening again and this time it is not China, it is India.

Every time you turn on the television or pick up a magazine, it is no longer the rise of China, it is now the rise of China and India.

The desire to make comparisons is understandable. Both have more than a billion people. Both are growing at 10% a year.



Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city


There are, I suspect, many who are hoping that India, with its freedom and democracy, will win this new race to become the next economic super power. I am not so sure.
I have spent the last eight years living in Beijing, and only four days in Delhi, so comparisons are difficult.

But the few days I recently spent in India made me look at China in a new light.


'Shocking experience'


Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city.
The streets groan under the weight of people. The air is filled with deafening noise and sumptuous smells.

Switch on the television and it is the same.

Between channels blasting out voluptuous Bollywood love stories and pop videos, an endless stream of news channels dissect the latest political scandals, and debauched lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Coming from China it is an almost shocking experience.

But after the initial delight at being in an open society, I started to notice other things.


Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment; locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting


The hotel was expensive and bad. In my room I searched for a high speed internet connection, a standard feature in any hotel in China. There was not one.
Then with the night-time temperature still well above 30C (86F) the power went out.

I lay for hours soaked in sweat trying, and failing, to get back to sleep and wishing I was back in Beijing where the lights never go out.

But getting back would not be easy.

Passenger queues

I looked at my plane ticket. Departure time 0315. Surely that could not be right.

I called the front desk. "That's correct sir," he said, "the airport is too small so many flights from Delhi leave in the middle of the night."

He was not joking.

My taxi struggled along the Jaipur road towards the airport.

The two-lane road was clogged by an endless convoy of lorries. Finally I arrived at Indira Gandhi International airport. Despite the hour it was teeming with people.

The queues snaked around the airport and back to where they had started.

Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment. Locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting.


I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work


"Is it always like this?" I asked a man in the queue ahead of me.
"Pretty much," he sighed.

I was finally shepherded aboard the flight to Shanghai.

Next to me sat a friendly looking Indian man in shorts and running shoes.

"Is this your first trip to China?" he asked me.

"No," I replied, "I live there."

"Really," he said, his interest piqued, "what should I expect?"

"I think," I said, "you should expect to be surprised."

Jaw dropping

Six hours later, our plane taxied to a halt in front of the soaring glass and steel of Shanghai's Pudong International Airport.



In Delhi I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own


As we emerged into the cool silence of the ultra-modern terminal, my new companion's jaw slid towards his belly button.
"I was not expecting this," he said, his eyes wide in wonder. "Oh no, I definitely was not expecting this".

I also found myself looking at China afresh.

Later that day as I drove home from Beijing airport along the smooth six-lane highway I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work.

And it was not just the airports and roads.

Driving through a village on the edge of Beijing I was struck by how well everyone was dressed.

In Delhi, I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own. Even deep in China's countryside that is not something you will see.

In Delhi I had been told of the wonders of India's new economy, of the tens of thousands of bright young graduates churning out the world's latest computer software.

I thought of China's new economy, of the tens of millions of rural migrants who slave away in factories, making everything from plimsolls to plasma televisions.

And of the same rural migrants, heading home to their villages at Chinese New Year festival loaded down with gifts, their pockets stuffed full of cash.

China is not a free society, and it has immense problems. But its successes should not be underestimated.

They are ones that India, even with its open and democratic society, is still far from matching.

no dough.

Fucked...i am so fucked....

I thought I could use my cards here in China, but it seems that ATM after ATM would not accept my plastic! And there are no money changers in town, so getting my cash converted is not an option!

I've tried it all, cards from Australia, U.K, Singapore, Hong Kong....they all don't work!! This "Plus" network thing is bullshit...

I've got yank dollars, hong kong dollars, thai bhat, singapore dollars, pounds, aussie dollars, euros.....but it's pointless! no one will accept it and there's no money changer around!

turns out i have to borrow cash from my boss...how embarassing, i'll just have to wait 5 more days till pay day :(

Must to be learning Chinese....

This is bad.

I've just realized how seriously they take the Chinese language here in China. (well. duh. yesh.) At a board meeting earlier, my boss was terribly upset (ie. he threw a fit) that I introduced myself in English. Three quarters of the room didn't understand what I was talking about! I am now officially put on a intensive course in spoken and written traditional/simplified Chinese.

My computer has it's English version of Microsoft Office uninstalled and replaced with a traditional chinese one. Tragic.

Anyway, my boss will be buying me lunch later, as well as show me where the -only- -english- bookstore is in this area. Mmmm.....after a week of Chinese food, i'm really looking forward to some foreign cusine!

Now here are some facts you must know if you wanna go to China :

- Bring local currency. Cash. Lots of it. Most of whatever you buy is going to accept local currency only. And forget about looking for a money-changer.

- Beware of the change that you get. Fake money is floating everywhere.

- Although they drive on the left side of the road, look in EVERY direction before you cross the road. "Traffic Rules" are non-existant here. Just try to stay alive.

- Rates of literacy here is higher than in Singapore. They read, they write and they've got more ways to say "fuck off" than you can think of. So please respect.

- People don't walk around with guns in their pockets. So there's no need to wear bullet proof vests around. However, people are poor, desperate and cunning, so it's best to keep your wits about you.

- Bring anti-bacterial spray, wash and vitamins. The standard of hygine is very questionable.

Now in : China

...and i'm off again!

It's these damn itchy feet, i just can't stay put in one place! This time, i've packed my bags and jetted off to Guangzhou in China. How long will i stay? I haven't a clue. But with food at as little as 30 pence (one singapore dollar) and tons of lovely lady's throwing themselves at you...hmmm.... it might be a while....

But on a more serious note, these two days here is a very humbling experience. To the people here, i'm on a ridiculously high pay package (to my mates back home and everywhere else, my pay is pathetic). These boys and girls come from all over China to live in in dormitories that are shared by 10 other people. They share common toilet facilities and have absolutely no access to things like washing machines, heaters, dryers and television. In the morning they queue up to use the toilets to brush their teeth, in the evening they queue up to bathe and wash their clothes by hand.

Life is regimental and discipline is harsh. They indeed are a capitalists' dream work force. A people bred just to fit parts on an electronic device.

Their entertainment revolves around an outdoor public screening of some obscure chinese movie, basketball and badminton.

They live on a salary of 50 pounds (SGD150) a month. And they have no other alternative to better their lives cause they're too busy performing overtime.

And this is the picture of one of the better parts of China. I havent' the chance to see a real sweat shop yet, but i would love to. At least at our place the practice of hygine is strictly observed (but still, everything around me seems to reek of some weird smell).

So the next time you power on your computer, plug in your iPod, sit on your Ikea sofa or use anything that's marked "Made in China", give a moment and spare a thought for these people who toil, slog, sweat and work round the clock to make it all possible for you.

People who, not by choice are born into this existence, do not have the resources to improve their lives and may never, ever get to use these products they make.

there and back again.

What a difference a week makes....

It's been a wild week. I mean, proper wild.

In one week, fates were sealed, decisions were made, commitments were assured and a complete change of mind and will power was put into motion.

I wish i could tell you guys what happened in the last week, but for both the privacy of others and my professional security, i cannot and will not.

It does involve a lot of packing of bags and the development of a taste for Sino-Asian food in the near future.

Really, people do strange things when they're angry....all reason is lost, you make bad decisions, you hurt the people around you and the people around them. And sometimes, i think that people enjoy being angry...for some reason, there's this mean sadistic streak in us that simply must be let loose in order to tickle some pleasure hormones.

...and one last word of advice: Hotel 1929 at Chinatown is a rip-off. Don't waste your time (and money). I've seen storerooms with more space.

Don't be a lemming.

(I have since had an "update" of political views, please go to www.fivestarsandamoon.com for further reading)

The time has come to elect again.

I'll give you a little hint on my vote...it rhymes with Verkers Barty.

They've done a good job with Hougang and i'm sure they'll do a good job with another
constituency.

Even if they don't win it, i've at least done my part in giving hope to future contestants.

Yes, our current government has done a nifty job of running an island. Yes, things are going dandy. But if we continue to think this way, we might as we well be using fax machines instead of emails, Nokia 3210s instead of PDA phones, Windows 3.11 instead of Windows XP. "If it's not broken, don't fix it" is a tagline for the dying past.

I'm sick of several things:

- Media domination
- Restriction of expression
- Non-transparency of national budgets
- Living in an artificial city where everyone does as they're told
- The banning of cats in HDB estates.

Living in Singapore is like living with your parents. How do you have fun and express yourself when your grand-daddy is always breathing down your neck?

How do you live a real life instead of being a machine bred to grow a nation's economy?

I shouldn't be commenting too much. Just my two cents worth.

But if you don't like it. Stop voting for it. And if you do, don't complain about it.

Just don't be a lemming.

some explanation for my European buddies (and African too bleah)

Yes, yes mates.... i know, i know....i said i was coming back, then i was not coming back...and then i'm coming back...and then i'm not coming back..... all right, all right, now before you guys start aiming beer bottles at singapore let me explain a bit yeah?

Actually....heheheh, i don't think i'm going to explain it even.

*dodges first beer bottle*

...but i am coming back all right? just not now!!

*dodges next beer bottle*

Yup, i'm slowly building up finances again so that i may vist you guys... those of you who know me would know what i'm doing.... i'm 50% there... so pray the market co-operates with me :)

*dodges a whole bunch of flying beer bottles...filled with beer*

Ha.... cheers!

sometimes a sweater.

sing us a song mr. pianoman! sing us a song tonite!

We Make Party!

Ah the first post of the year.

And the previous year ended off on a wild note, as is befit for a very productive and exceptionally wonderful year.

Let's do the usual and have a recollection of 2005.
What was, what is, what could have been and what is yet to come:

January - Moved into Woodford Green straight after a 2 hour train ride from Brussells to London Waterloo. Note: TVM = the train with a big ass speed. Partied at Trafalgar Square with Moe. Did part time auditing work with RGIS.

February - Sick of doing stock checks in the freezing cold and having to endure late nights and lonely treks home through deserted streets, wonderd why i've never been mugged yet. Applied for work at Leytonstone Library. Hired as a Marketing Communications executive at JR Inkjet Ltd.

March - Spring is fast coming. Travelled to Birmingham for exhibitions. Got locked out of a bed and breakfast, slept in the freezing cold with John and Matt after -way- too many drinks and an impromptu movie screening. Classic.

April - Cancelled trip to Scotland, return train rides would cost me more than 24hours and 140 pounds. Life revolved around Tescos, Rainham and the Railway Tavern.

May - Learnt Macromedia Flash from scratch. Produced interactive CD for JR Inkjet with new skills. Shifted seats to share with Becci, Roberta, Matt and Sherrie. Confirmed and got a pay increase!

June - Summer. Hot. Tube becomes microwave. Celebrated birthday with da Prospect people. Got wine from Ratch and gang, CD from Sarah and James, book voucher from Pieter (which i spent on a Japanese lesson) and underwear from Moe (not funny).

July - Tried frantically to download all things Asian from the internet. Hokkien songs, Chinese songs, Jap songs... I miss home. I want my Nasi Lemak. Subscribed to Channel News Asia live feed.

August - National Day. Started www.getben.net. Edmund was supposed to come visit. But thanks to those damn bombs, they've cancelled the trip.

September - Job openings are popping up everywhere in Singapore. Contemplating very seriously about returning. Options, ideas and thoughts were juiced to the very max.

October - The decision is made. I am returning. Edmund, Eugene, alvin, Kiwi, Regina, Hui, Teck, EVERYONE! Damn, it's so good to see everyone again!! So good to speak Singlish again!

November - Started employment at Modus. Great colleagues, great work. 'nuff said.

December - Gathering together resources, embark on a career building plan. Gonna study, learn a new language and update my knowledge of the Asian markets.

Life is great if you can manage it well. There really is so much to do, so much to learn, so much to create and produce. I've got my plans set in place and i'm happy to say that everything is going exceptionally well...honestly!

That's enough now, been lazy...i'm supposed to complete a project for Cassandra. ($100 to complete a 5000 word expository...not bad eh?)

outz---*

paradigm shift

i've always liked to type when i'm drunk.

like tonight for example.

or that night, many, many years ago...i'll try to keep all my gramatical and spelling errors here. Free typing, typing without correction, that's what tey call it.

Isn't it bliss? ?
as a matter of fact, i'm typing with my eyes closed....those of you who know me will know that i'm really quite capable of that...no big deal it is, just typing away with those lid of yours closed...

so what was the poison of my choice tonight? red wine, white wine and beer.

what's the event? i would rather not say. as a matter of good fact, i'm enjoying myself in this dew of pure bliss right now, alone, by my lonesome... typing alone when drunk, melo songs in the back ground... whitewine in the foregrouund...

i'm having Liquid Tension Experiment's - Hour Glass playing right now... piano solo. something not to be expected from a progressive rock group...

let's take another sip of wine...

so what's first on my mind now? ...London. And JR Inkjet. And Pieter. And Moe. And Ben. And Sarah and James. And Ratcha, Dong Yu, Tomoko. Paula.... the other American girl.

I'm a foreigner. I hate being local. I hate Singapore. I don't want to be a Singaporean.

I'm Jealous.

I'm jealous of all those around me who are able to choose life as they want it. I hate it when i'm to choose a life that i do not want because i'm responsible for those around me.

I can't say that. I love my father. I love my aunties. I would not want to give them up even for my own satisfaction. But there's my own satisfaction, there's my own life. There's my own happiness. I want to settle down in the place i want, with the girl i love, with the life i like. NOT WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN! I want to live in London, in New York, in Tokyo!! I want to live life alone with the one I love, my own partner... not my family. And yet i can't forsake my family. I can't do that.

I ddidn't want to leave London. I didn't want to leave England. I didn't want to. I've had a chance. I gave it up. Willingly. I had the capabilities. I had what it takes.

I couldn't do it, i had to give it up. Willingly.

I had to return to singapore.

I don't have someone i could i love... i don't know how to love. I've given up on Church, though I still belive in God. Life's unfair, really...to me at least, but at least that's all that matters.

Many, many times i wonder. Why? Why do pepple who don't belive in You live a much better life than I do? Why do people who belive in you live a more harsh life than they should? Why? Why ? Why?

Leaving London was like leaving a girlfriend, albeit this time, I did it willingly. Prospect Road, Essex, Rainham, Woodford Green, Ipswich, Russell Square...these are places i cannot easily forget. The train delays, the bomb scares, the stench of stink, the robbers... who gives a shit? London is beautiful...a beautiful, beautiful rose.... the English rose.... the rose of hope and glory....and yet i've go return to Singapore.

Yet Singapore...singapoe....i don't know... i'm proud to be an Asian. But not a Singaporean. Singapore's a large baby-care centre. The people are rude...boring... selfish...

i'm drunk,

ui can't rite anymore.

good nite.
#

To hang or not to hang?

Heard about the execution of the Australian drug smuggler? Shrewed businessman he is, a bit of a risk taker, even knowing full well the consequences of importing happy medicine into Singapore, he goes ahead and does it anyway!

It's all about managing risk; You eat left over curry, you may get diahorrea. You play golf, you may get struck by lightning. You cross a road, you may get hit by a car. So everyone knows that if you try to bring in drugs to Singapore (or most parts of Asia for that fact), you will be sentenced to hang if you're caught.

And our good 'ol mate got caught.

Poor chap, but don't miss him yet, he's probably making more money than a whole year's salary of you and me put together in just one deal. He's probably laying more chicks than you and me too!

Well, some people think that execution is barbaric (but don't tell that to the steak you had for lunch). I think it's swift punishment. And effective. And saves us money.

A personal point of view: If i knew that bringing in marijuana, or any sort of drug would result in only a prison term or death sentence, i would take a risk! Imagine the sort of money you can make! Then again, the street value of the drugs would probably be lowered anyway cause a million other likeminded businessmen would be thinking the same way too. Everyone would be high on crack every nite...well, that may not be such a bad thing would it now?

Execution, i believe, is also a sympathetic way of sentencing a criminal. Let me explain: Imagine... having to have to spend the rest of your life in a prison cell, washing dirty garments and getting violated by horny cellmates. How would you like that? Wouldn't you pray for an early death instead?

But in the case of Singapore, I believe is merely a case of cutting costs. Why should tax payers money be used to support a criminal for the rest of his life? You've got to pay wardens to look after him, councillors to keep him sane, feed him, clothe him, pay for his medical needs, care for him... All that when a rope would do the trick!

And then Mr. Mark Hilder from New South Wales think's it's wrong for us to dish out punishment.

He's probably the same guy who will be complaining of stoned kids vandalising his car and molesting his girlfriend. Sod it, maybe he's a crack head himself!

Hey Markey, you can boycott all products made or associated with our country you want...you're just a little prick in a large world of jack hammers.

But, hey, while you're at it, why not boycott goods from other nations that supports the death sentence too? Let's see, last on my list was China, America, Japan, Malaysia....

Singapore has harsh penalties. We've flogged naughty American vandals, hanged a Fillipino murderess, hanged a Malaysian pedophile...and if you think the laws will be relaxed on a drug trafficking Australian, think again.

It's ugly, it's a boring country. But it's a system that works.

If anyone wants to protest, it will be Singaporeans. Not a foreigner writing in from miles away.

And until now, few Singaporeans object the death penalty.

Especially not for one that makes more money than me.

Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

...and then I was reading the forums at Channel News Asia. The topics there are so shallow, I don't know why i'm even bothering. I think it's a strange human desire to feel revolted sometimes. That explains our fascination with horror and violence.

I can’t remember exactly what the conversation was, but I know it’s something to do with divorce rates in Singapore. In a nutshell, our wise fellow columnists came up with the Grand Theory explaining the high divorce rates in Singapore. Women are getting more independent. And the Grand Solution? Get women to stay at home and be more dependent on their husbands.

Utter bollocks.

But that’s just my opinion.

Flash back now to one year ago: I remembered that my ex-girlfriend was always telling me that modern Singapore girls are different. According to her they’re now a new species of Singaporeans and dictate what they want in their lives. Money, lifestyle, boyfriend…if you’re not up the mark, boom, out you go. (That, obviously, would include me, but hey, at least I got short listed before I was given the boot!) She too blames independence (actually exalted would be a word she would have used) for women to be more selective about their choice of men, hence leading to high divorce rates.

Utter bollocks.

She wouldn’t be too pleased to hear my remark.

And then there are books, magazines, articles and journals that theorise that men and women think so differently, they might as well be from different planets.

If you ask me, that belief forms the basis for a fantastic marketing engine. But that’s another story.

Before we tackle this problem, let’s see what “independence” really mean. And please, in this article, “independence” means emotional independence. So spare me your ideas of Reformasi and other notions of nationalism.

The role of the humans in medieval times was simple. Man hunts and kill, women cooks and collects. Smashing. That makes perfect sense, because physiologically it’d make more sense for testosterone charged man to chase a woolly mammoth and the more alert and environmentally sensitive woman to collect food and care for everything else the man can’t do on his meat hunt expeditions.

Thus a “relationship” was formed. In modern terms, this would be a “effective cooperation resulting in a synergy for a beneficial win-win partnership”. Hence, “independence” never existed even in ancient times.

What is independence really? According to Maslow’s Humanistic Psychology, human’s require a set of needs and peak experiences in order to feel satisfied. Fancy shmuck aside, desire to be loved and need for social dependence are rudimentary basics for human existence. Even in science, humans are not meant to be independent.

It gets better when you look at it in a religious point of view. The Testaments of Jewish, Christian, Catholic and Muslim faiths point out that Man and Woman must live together as one component. (And it is, by the way, Adam and Eve… not Adam and Steve.)

So why are there people still thinking that women crave independence? Women, like men, want to make the most and excel in their lives. They want to material comforts and build happy homes for them and their families… like men. So men and women both have the ideals and goals.

In sometime in their lives, they may want to be free of family bond… but the whole reason for that is to build different formats of relationships.

Let’s face it. Humans are social creatures. Put two together in a car and they’ll start to interact with each other in more ways than you can think.

Everyone is in a mission to better their lives, be it men or women. Everyone wants a better partner for themselves. So please. Women, like men, are mere mortals. Not Mars, Not Venus. From Earth. Deal with it.

a reminder.

I'm sacrficing a lot by returning to Singapore.

I love London, I really do. This really is the Land of Hope and Glory.

Let's hope i'll follow through my plans for my degree, otherwise returning will be the stupidest thing i'll do in my life.

Job Hunting Tips

When friends tell me that they’re having a tough time getting an interview, I usually ask how they go about doing their job hunt.

“Look through newspaper and send out resume lor, send the more the better…but I send 500 resumes out already but still no reply leh…”

So I ask them what sort of resume they send out.

“Standard one from MS Word lor, printed on nice paper, put in nice envelope with nice photograph.”

Job hunting in the 21st century is a harrowing experience. It no longer entails preparing a standard resume of what jobs you did in your life, printing it on fancy corrugated paper and mass mailing out to every company in the classifieds. Think about how you handle junk mail. Your resume is the Human Resource’s office version of Tan Ah Cheok’s windows repair specialist.

The process of looking for a job is, well, by itself already a full time job!

Let's see..first, you have to set a few boundary objectives and requirements for the work/company you want to get involved in. You have to identify what sort of company you want to work for, what sort of scalability the job could give you, what sort of time frame you’re going to be with the company and of course, what you want to achieve.

I personally believe that “working” for any company in any position is nothing more than leverage for you to develop your desired skills. They in turn benefit from your skills and will have reason to want to retain you. It’s a beautiful exchange.

Oh yes… job hunting… So after you’ve got the identification down pat, you now have to prepare a resume outline that is both configurable and flexible to suit different employers. Not as easy as it sounds. And it’s only an outline. It must be altered to suit different positions.

It doesn't stop there. There is also the cover letter and an e-mail introduction.
Now these I believe are the most crucial of them all. If your email intro doesn't even pass Human Resources, you might as well have not sent the application at all! Let's just say that you have about 2 seconds in about 5 sentences to sell all your talents to a bored HR executive who may be casually sifting through a million applications after a heavy lunch.

And all that is even BEFORE you look for a job! What about the actual hunting? Will you use electronic job seek facilities, national newspapers or perhaps employ a job seek agency to do the work for you? How will you negotiate all of the above methods?

Yet these are not just the ways to find an opening. Companies usually post an advertisement only if they can’t fill the position through their own means. You also need to keep an eye out through your own network. Does a friend of a friend know of a position available?
Do you chat with people in cafes and pubs? Do you moan about your job seeking experiences in blogs and internet forums?

And just about until now, you still have not even had your first interview yet!

Exciting isn’t it? And that’s exactly what I’m going through now. Only problem is I’m trying to look for a job while I’m 70,000 miles away from home. I’ve got limited contact to my network of friends, no access to newspapers and no way of registering myself with an agency. I’m limited to those solely on the internet. I’ve been alternating between JobsDB.com, Jobstreet.com and a few direct applications to corporations I fancy.

But you know what’s pissing me off? Companies who can't differentiate between SALES and MARKETING.

I’m actually hunting for a job that would allow me to specialise in Marketing, you see. However, many local SMEs can’t tell the difference between MARKETING, SALES, PUBLIC RELATIONS and ADVERTISING. Or if they do, they assume that Marketing is all about designing a few fancy posters, liaising with printers, drawing up a few advertisements and that’s it!

A true marketing position is far more complex than that. For a start, sales, public relations, advertising, direct marketing and the like are all tools of marketing. And the delivery of messages to the public involves a lot more than a few brochures and posters. I could talk a lot more about marketing, but I’ll leave it for a separate entry.

You know what else about job seek ads bother me? Some of the requirements involved. I’ve never actually thought about how employers describe the potential candidate until I’ve actually compared them with those abroad.

Here are some of them:

Late Working Hours

It is understood that you’ll have to work late isn’t it? I mean, is there a need to really emphasise on it? Will you work to 4am in the morning and start work again at 8am? Everyday?

Highly Stressful Conditions

Again, unless your application is for a Land Mine Clearing Specialist, it is equally understood that every job is stressful. I have yet to see a company advertising for “Tranquil and unperturbed conditions”. Even executives at the Banyan Tree swing from the end of their tether many a times.

Female working Environment / Chinese speaking only

The use of the phrase “Chinese Speaking Only” could be a bit sticky. Especially when used in a country where there are larger numbers of Chinese (Singaporean) run businesses. It could easily misinterpreted as “Chinese Only”.

In true cosmopolitan cities, no one would dare to make such remarks. If a foreign language is required, it should say “Knowledge of X language would be advantageous” or “Would be required to interact with Chinese counterparts frequently” if it is a position requiring the use of the language. And this would be immediately tagged with the disclaimer “XXX Ltd is an equal opportunities employer and will not discriminate candidates based on sex, age, religion, race or ethnicity.”

And why a male/female working environment only? If you are L’Oreal or Tampax, I’m sure it would be understood that most men would find themselves awkwardly unsuitable for the job. (Well, there are alternative males, but hey, if they can fit in and do the job, then they should be given a chance shouldn’t they?) Or if you’re Keppel Container services looking for manual labourers, no girl would think they would desire to apply too, or if they want to, they too should be given a chance.

Oh, and here’s my favourite:

Must be willing to travel 15-20% of the time.

Now how’s that for precise? How would you calculate that? Is that off regular 9-5 or off a 6 day week? What if you exceed and travel 21% instead, would that be compensated? Travelling would be travelling wouldn’t it? Why make it sound like a bad thing? Unless you’re going to be living off a suitcase, it probably is sufficient to say that “Travelling will be required”.

Any interesting job seeking experiences to share?

Global IT Hub? *pui*

Most wired city in Asia they say... largest concentration of computer users they say... leading the revoloution in e-commerce they say....

And yet i can't even get information on a bloody baking oven!

On top of that the retail big boys of Courts, Best Denki and Harvey Norman sites are all down! For almost a month now!!

But, i'd thought i'd give us a chance. Maybe baking ovens are not the rage...let's try searching for... MRT fares! Five weblinks and two hours later, i'm still clueless about how SMRT would charge if i wanted to travel from Bedok to Yio Chu Kang.

Ok, ok... let's give e-commerce a break, maybe in a small island, we don't really need to buy anything online after all.

So i logged on to Channel News Asia's Forums. I left in no more than 10 mins. Any longer and i might have been scarred mentally. What did i come across that left me scampering like a rabbit?

"What do you like best about Singapore guys"?

"I'm stuck in a $50,000 loan, please help"

"[POLL] Gals wearing lesser nowsadays".

"The worst food court"

I ruled out the possibility of a potential waste of time and a usless stirring of emotions. 90% of the posters don't know what they're talking about, complain relentlessly, don't bother with grammar and spelling and lace their posts with just a tad too many Hokkien expelatives. Nah buay, liek dis how to read sia?

Nevermind, let's log on to The Straits Times then, there must be something intelligent about -The Asia Pacific Newspaper of the Year-. (Yes, it really is a newspaper!..no, no, it's not a propaganda machine...pro singapore and anti-world? Whatever gave you that idea?!)

Pathos. Our very popular newspaper wants to impose a charge. I guess they'd have to, Singaporean's think it's not worthwhile paying 60cents to pay for propa- i mean, news any more. If you'd really think about it, CNN and BBC offers quality unbiased Asian and world news for free. Let's see, tailored news for S$60, or unbiased as-is news for free...hmmm, this is a tough one...

Let's sum up Singapore's online presence :

1.) No one's harnessing the power of search engines properly.

2.) No Pay-per-Click application anywhere.

3.) No retailer is even bothered with regional selling.

4.) Poor content management. I'm not even talking about asthetics yet. Some sites have obviously no research made on internet psychologies, spider crawls, strategic text placement, interface design. There are some sites belonging to large companies that are truly embarassing.

5.) Poor use of selling language.

6.) Poor call to action.

7.) Poor bandwidth. MediaCorp and all their subsites like Channel News Asia has all the speed of a handicaped snail.

8.) Lack of informative pages.

9.) Poor content in newsletters. MINDEF MIW never fails to get on my nerves. If i get sales letters and no proper content attracts me month after month, i'll treat them all as spam and junk it.

10.) Lack of companies actually participating in the web scene.

The value of the internet is highly underated. We're not a long way off from becoming a true I.T hub. All it takes is for companies to invest a little more in an integrated online marketing plan.

Anyone up to start a campaign?

I'll be back!

So this is it.

After serious consideration and heavy cognitive work, measured by scientifically tried methods of benefit vs detriment... I have decided to leave fair England. (The coin showed "Heads" if you must know.)

Like sinfully delicous chocolate cake, too much fun leaves one laden with guilt. It's high time i returned to throw myself back into some serious study. A new life, a new agenda with new goals! What fun! *Bah* who am i kidding? I just miss the
Punggol Nasi Lemak and a certain blonde haired lass living in Lor 39, Lim Chu Kang.

So no more (bloody annoying) Tube trains, no more late nights at The Rail Way Taveren, no more posh street names like "Mile End", "Bethnel Green", "Dangenham Dock" and "Walthomstow".

Hmmm come to think of it... also no more drunken loose tongued f*ck wits, station closures, pee soaked streets and carbonate thick city water.

Back to MRTs, prawn mee, durians and Nissan Sunnys. Damn those Nissan Sunnys. Them and Toyota Corrollas. Urgh.

I wonder how it's going to feel like. It has been a year after all and i'm so used to London now...

To spark off the festivities, i'm going to book myself a flight on the SIA. If I survive that "Singapore Smile", i'll be ready for anything! I think it's cruel to pay someone so much money to put on fake smile. Don't they know it's hazadrous? What if the smile sticks and it doesn't go away? Pity them...i really do...

Then there's immigration control. There's always this nagging fear that i'd might have unwittingly imported something illegal into Singapore. Like foreign dirt.

Immigration Control Officer: 'Scuse me sir, please leave your
belongings and follow us prease.

Me : Why? What'd i do?

I.C.O (Fishing out thick black book) : Do you know that under Section 369 of the A.Y.E* in Code 443 of the Penal Code (1946) you are prohibited from importing foreign soil into the country.

Me : But i didn't import any soil!!

I.C.O : Look under your boots.

*Arcane Yet Enforced

See! It's dangerous to enter Singapore! Almost anything on you could be illegal or untaxed! I'm not exagerating, i actually did look at the import procedures for nationals entering Singapore...and it does state that unless you can prove that
any artifact that you bring into the country is for personal use and consumption, you are liable for duties and excise on even that Kleenex you bought!

But the real reason why i'm coming back is...*drum roll*...YOU!! Yes, you, my dearest friend who art in Shingle'Spore! How could i have ever given you up for a life of luxury in a winter wonderland? Sometimes i wish i could pack all my friends into my suitcase and bring 'em all with me wherever i go.... or that i would be rich enough to fly all of you guys in a private plane with me. Seeing that I : a.) Have
not enough money to buy that big a suitcase and b.) Have not enough money. period. I decided to come back to you guys instead! Awww...now isn't that sweet eh? Now i'm sure that you'll forgive me if i forgot to buy you that little present you wanted...but since you're such a good friend and i'm so sweet, i'm sure you'll buy me dinner even right?...right?

er...you still there?

On a more serious note though, i'm not really returning for good. I've got some plans and I plan to stick by them. And I shall post them here so that one of you lovely souls may hold it against me should i ever falter from them.

So here they are, my Grand Master Plan for 2006:

1.) Take over the world.
2.) Get my F*UCKIN' degree. It's been too long now.
3.) Stop cracking jokes on world domination.
4.) Learn a new language.
5.) Turn Sports Extreme Singapore into THE authorotative extreme sports site in Asia.


And in 3 years time, i'll be off again!

...in the meantime, i'll continue dreaming of nasi lemak.

What's the bus to Hougang again?

Migration to Friendster.

I've pondered, lost sleep, ran this through the whole cognitive process and i've decided to move my blog site to Friendster:

http://bigheadache.blogs.friendster.com/a_big_headache/

Refer to the new site for future comments! :)

Blogspot.com, you're not doing much to retain customers are you?

outz---*

Only in London.

The craziest things happen in London. You think you're weird? You think you're funny? You think you're loud? You think you're a fashionist? ....there's always someone waiting to out-do you in everyway!
Take last night for example, it was a normal night out to the pub at Acton Town, so we were on the last Tube service home, we thought we made a big bunch of fools of ourselves...acting all touristy, singing loudly...but oh no, in came these 3 American girls. wrong. 2 american girls (I think. but mmmmm....)and 1 american geyser. she out did us by entertaining us with her little tube surfing act! She thought she was getting attention...but no! at the next stop in comes this bloke with a guitar, he sits on the floor, whips out his thang (guitar i mean) and the next thing you know, the whole carriage breaks out into song and dance! i mean, no way! there's no way i can even vaugely imagine this happening on the MRT.... hah! all in the name of fun...and only in London!